Opening my eyes

For me, it’s really not complicated: I am the lifeforce/godforce in expression in a physical universe – and so is everyone else. I am the expression of Life, itself, and not a vessel for it or a conduit for it. I am IT. Why is it so difficult for us to get this one?

Memories of so many programs… putting my hands under the fabric covering the table top and having my right hand ‘tent’ the fabric in one place and my left hand tent it in another place, each hand seemingly visibly separate and different from the other….and yet, both expressions of the same fabric. Life! That fabric is Life itself, and those apparently separate hands are individual expressions of that same Life!

We’re taught two things – regardless of where or when we’re born – and they are: 1) there is a god and 2) we’re not it. Ground into our little brains and bodies, day after day after day; often backed up with emotional (shame/humiliation) and physical (spanking/yanking/slapping, et) pain is that this god is often punitive; that we don’t measure up; and that we must be sure to please him and be sure not to annoy him. Know what he wants and just comply.

This trains us to live always seeking some authority outside of ourselves: parents, teacher, doctor, priest/minister, etc. Someone to ensure that we pause…and look to for a reaction… before daring to take a step or wrap our hand around anything or engage any expression of life. Not daring to move without first checking with an authority – an external reference – to be sure that it’s ok. Doing this ingrains in us (during a time in our lives when we are totally dependent on those training us into this world view) not to question under penalty of penalty! Ours is not to ask questions – ours is to follow instructions; to seek outside of ourselves for the rules and what/how to proceed. In this way, we are trained to fit in to appropriate behaviour in a homogenized society.

We are also taught that there is only one. That means that the job is taken. That means that the best we will ever be is less than that one god. The deal is: serve and follow the direction, or die (emotionally/physically/spiritually).

Creating this notion of the ‘one god’ necessitates and demands personification. Doing so then teaches us to be amenable to following the direction of ‘one’ in ‘authority’. Without giving it this sense of a unique and powerful being, there is nothing for us to identify with. As much as we’re taught that this god is not like us, we make it so (personification) so that we can relate to it.

Like something put in motion eons ago, long forgotten by its originators and having simply become habit to all that followed, this intergenerational habit now has a life of its own. It just goes on and on and on….. most of it outside any kind of conscious thought or selection. A habit of one-god-and-it's-not-us'ness, overtaking us all.

What a massive charade! And yet, being willing and able to play in it seems essential to the world that we’ve created. Its entire unfolding rests on this relationship…on this recognition of the need to defer to an external, superior force whose underpinning is one simple thought: it is not us, it never will be us and we’re not up to it.

Perhaps it is the language of ‘godforce’ that terrifies everyone. Such nasty consequences if we dare to consider ourselves to be ‘godforce’. Test it for yourself: stand in front of a mirror, quiet the body and say out loud: “I am the godforce, expressing in a physical world.” Just notice what happens in your body, and in the ‘monkey-mind’ response that fires off. We’ve learned well. .

The thing that never ceases to amaze me is that the ‘fact’ that none of us is the godforce is so profoundly, relentlessly, deeply and rigorously ingrained that it is virtually impossible for us to question, or for any other possibility to even penetrate the thick crust of our conditioning; to recognize what indeed, lives inside us, making it impossible for us to wake up and see who we are. And so we drone on – and so do our lives.

From one conversation to the next; from one program to the next, I am profoundly saddened not only by the degree to which we have been pummeled into believing – absolutely and without question! – that we are small, puny, innately bad and helpless but also by the degree to which we refuse to consider anything else to be the essence of what we are!

We all have eyes with which to see. If I keep my eyes closed, I can still see. I see light and dark and shadow and movement. You, on the other hand, may choose to open your eyes. In doing so, not only do you have the option of seeing what I see, you also see so much more! You see detail and color; you see form and texture. You see density and immensity. We don’t discuss what we see, we argue about what there is to be seen. And yet, all I have to do is open my eyes. You cannot explain to me how to do that; nor can you do it for me. I must simply choose – and open my eyes.

Life changes quickly, dramatically and profoundly when we simply choose to open our eyes.