My Emerging Future....emerging

There was a time when I looked to others to define who I was to become. Not because I believed it to be the thing to do, but because I knew nothing else. No alternative existed in the structure of my reality. It just was.

As a child, it never occurred to me to NOT seek approval and applause from my parents, my teachers, my elders….from all those others who ran my world, not by mindful invitation but by an accident of birth. I could just as easily have been born on the other side of the world – and my world would have been very different. It did, indeed shape who I became. It served me well for a very long time, until one day, it didn’t serve me anymore.

There was a time when I felt like I was falling apart; a time when the scream inside me could no longer be ignored or silenced with striving, achieving and succeeding; with booze and food and sex. A time when I desperately needed to look elsewhere for who I was to become and had no sense of anything else being ‘out there’ that could have meaning for me.

All that had made sense to me, no longer did. What I had relied on no longer served me, and I had no idea what to do instead. So, not knowing where else to go or what else to do, I did what I needed to do to make it possible for me to stay where I was. The alternative was…nothing.

That worked for a while until the tension between the scream inside me and the pretense outside of me were no longer a match for each other – and the scream won. I collapsed into my own rage and my world inside me, collapsed.

The time had come when I let go of all that I knew, not because I knew anything else but because knowing what I did was now killing me. So I just stopped. Stopped striving. Stopped looking. Stopped doing all that I had been doing to just stand still in a place where I knew I no longer wanted to be. I stopped….and did nothing.

In that nothing, I found something different. I did not find answers, I found different questions. I did not find clear images; I found the capacity to see in the dark…in murky water. Sharp lines and distinct shapes gave way to fuzzy edges and overlapping notions – and I discovered that I loved it! I discovered that I loved the murky-ness of it all…..

That time grew and I wanted to find others who would also delight in the joy of the murky-ness…the joy of not knowing….of wandering…of discovering….and of exploring who else and, more importantly, what else we might all be, and so I shared my discoveries with others.

Discoveries spawned new thoughts; new thoughts invited new ways to see and hear and express; and all of these became the WEL-Systems body of knowledge. Others discovered and explored and expanded…and murky-ness became a pathway to clarity. Who would have thought…..

My life became full with those seeking to discover more about themselves. Full with men and women who were willing to open themselves to the possibility that what they knew, what they believe and what they thought themselves to be may indeed, be nothing more than habits of thinking – and they were much more! And so, community grew, as one person’s discoveries and insights became the invitation to another to consider their own evolution. From that, today, there are many. This community is growing by itself. It no longer needs me to infuse it or enliven it or to keep it alive. It now has a life of its own.

And now….in this time…..I am ready for the next wave of who I can become. In this time, I am not seeking to free myself from anything; or seeking new knowledge or information that I do not yet have. I have come to know and trust that I am already all that I require. In this time, I am ready to ENGAGE!

I am awake and present. I am ready for the ‘more’ that I know awaits me, to be engaged when I say it is time. And I say it is time, now.

The body of knowledge of WEL-Systems has grown and expanded with the growth and expansion of those who live it and not those who talk about living it. It has been the breeding ground for discovery – not just discovery of who else we are, but of what else we are. There are now many, many articles and blogs, written by myself and others, to invite consideration of a different way of moving through the world. I have written three books that offer perceptual models through which to reconsider our lives; and there are at least two more to come in the next six months. I’ve recorded alone and with others, hours of thoughts and notions and invitations, that offer enough variety for those who are seeking, to find. There are others who are adept at and with all of this material, as evidenced by the living of their own lives. And that is the key: how do they LIVE?

My Emerging Future pulls me to find others with whom to ENGAGE. Others who have the desire to LIVE awake, mindful and meaningful lives. This does not require knowledge – it requires the courage to connect to what we already know to be the truth of who we are…that lives inside of us. We may not know what that inner truth is but we know – without a doubt – that it is there.

Connection. I am mindful that how I stay connected to myself is through those deep, powerful, rich conversations with others. The ones that sometimes are scary because they come out of nowhere…out of the murky-ness….and pull us into their depths. The ones that are magnetic in their hold on our curiosity and draw us in a direction without knowing the destination – and we learn to love the ride!

Connection. To mySelf, my world and to others. Connection to the density and intensity with which I care – deeply and powerfully and in ways that vibrate and shape my world – and for which I am completely unapologetic.

My Emerging Future is taking shape by calling to me and engaging with those who want these conversations….who are seeking to engage and no longer think about engaging….and who are present to this pull within themselves. Big, bold conversations. Conversations in quiet places and sacred spaces. Conversations that promise nothing and lead to redefined lives. Conversations of five hours or five days – whatever it takes! Conversations that are wide open to explore the topics that hold meaning for those who choose to show up. I trust that as I shape my world, they will shape theirs, and it will be a world to which I have the desire to belong.

There is a god – and we are all it. No one else will rescue us from ourselves. No other force will reward or punish us with greater rigor than we do ourselves. Nothing other than our own hand will be responsible for the writing on the wall of our lives.

I have no idea where this will go – and I welcome the murky-ness.

Breathing is good…..