Mortality, mindlessness and voice

I can’t remember what triggered it or at what point in the process it began. I only know that at some point, as I lay on my back on the massage table, thoughts of my own mortality drifted into my awareness. It was a peaceful sensation, making it possible for me to be still and relax, and continue to allow whatever that was to drift through my body.

Snippets of insight. Flashes. And yet, nothing but a sense of peace in my body. Nothing threatening or frightening. After all, I am not my body.

As I allowed myself to be guided by this awareness, it showed itself to be less about mortality and more about completion. Things completing themselves. The ends of lines touching as they curve around to meet themselves - and the circle completes. Moments of my shomehow having curved around and met myself. In that instant, that "I" that I have been is complete and becomes the platform on which to stand and discover the "I" that I am about to become.

I have a sense of things completing inside myself. It is as if who I have been has come full circle and is completing itself….quietly and peacefully….with a sense of wholeness and gratitude. I have done what I set out to do. In that awareness, I am complete.

The question that remains: Have I fully become? Or is this journey just beginning?

I’m different. As much as my interpretation of the ‘aloha spirit’ – my desire to invite and allow – continues to guide all of who I am, there is a greater intensity that flows through my ‘invite and allow’. It is still about invitation – and yet it feels somehow stronger….more potent….bigger….and with a voice that vibrates through my entire body. Where once it may have been loose, like a rope lying shapeless on the floor, it now has tension….has a taut-ness…that shows itself to have intention. Somehow, this ‘invite and allow’ is not a zero-sum game.

It is not my mortality that I ponder, for I already know that I am immortal. I am not the flame; I am the framework that allows the flame to exist. .When the flame ceases to appear, the framework has not died – it has only reshaped itself to allow something else to exist. I am not the thing- I am the force that shapes and sources the things that exist in my world.

Yesterday, I journeyed through the first offering of ‘Women Awakening’. Today, on the massage table, I realized that this half-day is the beginning of the call to women to lead and to co-create with men differently. The strength of voice that is its mate…its resonance and reverberation in the tissue….has gone beyond ‘invite and allow’. As I look back on yesterday’s voice, I now recognize it for the voice that once was and is no longer. Yesterday’s voice will not be sufficient for the call that ‘Women Awakening’ is.

Although it is still about choosing, it is also about recognizing that indifference will no longer suffice. Choosing not to choose is a choice. And in this time in our world, every choice matters.

What was is not gone, it has only become more. More strength. More clarity.

What will be has not yet fully arrived, but is less hidden. Less apologetic. Less tentative.

The invitation to engage is accompanied by a reminder of its alternative: doing nothing is also a choice and carries its own consequences. Are we willing to see them? To own them? To be accountable for them?

Life must be chosen and in that choice resides the seed of our own becoming.

I know there is much more to come about women awakening. More about recognizing that as much as it is the men who have shaped our existing world, women have been complicit through silence and compliance. I am not unaware of the millions of women who are bound - nor am I unaware of the millions of women who are NOT bound and yet choose silence as their way of being. Some must be silent and passive to survive. Others of us have inherited it; and still others of us remain silent and passive because it does not occur to us to do otherwise. Silent, passive - and invisible. Sleeping...deeply....mindless to what we are doing to ourselves and our children. Our absence has profoundly defined our present and presumed our future. It is never too late to change our minds.

Sleeping women are powerless women. Waking up is essential and must precede anything else.

There will be more…..

More on recognizing that for me, it is not about fixing the world we have; it’s about creating the world we want.

More about the 100th monkey…and recognizing that a shift in consciousness of a single entity emanates a pulse that profoundly affects and transforms the whole of consciousness – and transforms a world. (Gandhi)

More on recognizing that manifestation flows from the top, down (logical levels, spirituality to environment); that ‘reality’ is a reflection of the structure of our own thinking/consciousness; and that as our consciousness shifts, so does ‘reality’. The forces of nature reflect the turmoil – the increasing density and intensity – of our own spiraling consciousness. What will it take for us to wake up from this dream – and dream again?

Breathing is good……