More on intensity

It's another one of those moments that just showed up...in the middle of nothing even remotely connected to the notion/topic/idea...and caught me by surprise.

Years ago, when I was about to turn 40, I was in a good job, doing my thing and not thinking about any of it too much. I can't say that I was unhappy. It was more that I was busy living and hadn't really noticed too much of any of it.

As I approached that 'big day', my then-husband said to me: "Just think - only 25 more years to go." I froze! I was stunned at the truth of it. having gone completely unnoticed by me. In that nanosecond, I knew that if I kept doing what I was doing, I would be a drunk or a junkie (prescription meds are no less an addiction) or dead. In that single breath, I knew that I had to go.

Today, it was that same moment only now I'm older and wiser. And the same thought holds court: only 8 more years to go. How do I want to make those 8 years most meaningful to ME?

I know why and how I started all this in 1990. I also know how incredible this journey has been for me and for so many others. And still...I wonder...what is the next quantum leap that I know is there for me to take? As with all Emerging Futures, I have no content for what it is/will be. I only know that it's moving and the question is always "Do I have what it takes to trust it and allow myself to be carried?"

A small group is gathering soon in Ottawa. As with my instincts of January 2006, this same need is the attractor. The image that comes to mind is the gathering of dark storm clouds on the horizon. Not dangerous...not scary...and symbols of powerful energy gathering. When I see those coming, I know things are about to change.

Breathing is good....