Critical distinctions

"I am not a human being having a spiritual experience – I am a spiritual being having a human experience." Who said that? Wayne Dyer comes to mind. (I really like Wayne Dyer’s work. He’s on my ‘people to meet and hang out with in conversation’ short list. He’s been around a long time and although we’ve never met, he feels like ‘good people’ to me.) It’s a catchy phrase – and one that many people instinctively are drawn to – and yet, do we ever really stop to consider what that means in terms of how we live?

We consider that expression as we stand in our humanity and look over at our Spirit-ness. What might we discover if we were to stand in our Spirit-ness and look back at our humanity? Would we feel the same – about ourselves, our lives, our world and our potential?

I am in the search for the analogy…the metaphor…the description…the explanation…that will allow the ‘pop’ inside the body to occur. The pop…the flick of the internal switch…that moment when someone in the room gasps and recognizes the truth of what they are and who they are. There is no going back from that moment. Once awaked, the seduction of sleep is lost. (I wrote about that on November 15th, under The press of potential….. The pulse of energy that moved through the room when one woman awakened to this discovery. Palpable. A physical sensation in a physical body; and a change of temperature in the room.)

I am in the search for how to position what I know – deep in the body, where I live – so that others may have the opportunity to know if for themselves. Not like an opinion or a philosophy but as an undeniable experience of the presence of who they are, and that which is so much greater than our physical expression.

And, I am in the search for how to do that in 10 minutes or less, given how we live in a world of instant gratification and quick fixes. The only problem is that what I’m talking about isn’t about fixing anything. Nothing is broken. It is just lost. It’s about waking up from a deep, deep dream that feels so real, so present, that we have forgotten we’re dreaming.

I’ve been talking about and writing about and educating about this for almost 15 years. And still, I have not found the one story I can tell….or the one metaphor that I can use…that will cause the ‘click’ to happen inside the listener. In all those years, nothing has shown itself more potent that the moment of recognition from the Three Selves of Huna when, in an instant, we discover we ARE the godforce. But that’s a long story and one that I’ll tell another time.

How do you convince a human being s/he is an android? How do you convince an android that s/he is a human being? It really doesn’t matter which way it goes – what matters is the degree to which either would resist, be incredulous about, deny, dismiss, ridicule, denigrate, etc the very notion. Why? Because each believes that s/he already KNOWS. They ‘know’ because they have so much history….so much of their lives through the conditioning of others…that would tell them otherwise. And yet, how would they ever discover for themselves? Likewise, do any of us know how to get past our own stories? The ones we tell and the ones we just repeat because we have heard them so often we have come to believe them?

Science tells us a new story. The new science – the science of quantum biology – does not just define our physicality, it redefines our humanity! This new science tells us that we are not what we have been told we are – we are so much more. WHAT we are, at the level of naming the expression of our physical-ness, needs a new name. And yet, we resist. We deny the truth of our own discoveries because they do not match our stories. And yet again, we curl up into the smallness of who we think we have been, are and must continue to be. In that moment, we surrender our future to the past.

Tonight, I found this definition of an avatar and it calls to me.

Avatar: a temporary manifestation or aspect of a continuing entity.

I am an avatar. You are an avatar. The Spirit (continuing entity) that I AM temporarily inhabits/manifests itself through the physical body that I occupy in this physical world. And yet, I know without a doubt that I am NOT that body - I am the continuing entity that lives through and expresses through that body in a physical world. And when I choose to leave that physical body, the force that I am continues. I am not the device through which I express, I am the very force of that expression.

How did that one fit for you? Anything feel familiar for you?

In the coming years, I am committed to working with women (in particular) to make as much noise as I can so that we wake up! Sleeping women are powerless women. It is not that women are weak and/or puny – it is that we are asleep. And you know how it goes: there are times when you’re sleeping and you hate to be disturbed. Sleeping people find awake people annoying.

Prepared to be annoyed.

Breathing is good…..

Illusions of reality

I’ve discovered something: once awake, sleep has little appeal. And I’m mindful of that at all levels of thinking – from the physical to the ‘emotional’ and ‘mental’…to the spiritual.

Once awake, sleep holds no interest. That is true in the ‘real’ world and is also true in the world of ‘energy’.

We hold sleep as essential to healthy rhythms of physical life. Must we hold this to be true for ‘healthy rhythms’ of energetic life?

I’m awake and am losing interest not only in sleep, but am also noticing that I have no sense of being tired. I think that so much of what passes today as fatigued/tired/etc is really bored/disinterested/disenchanted – and the solution is to sleep/numb out/disconnect in some way. Going back to sleep will do that for us – physically and energetically.

I am reminded of reading long ago that the physical body does not require food; that there is a molecule in the air that we breathe that will source the physical body energetically, and that the ingestion of food has more to do with the sensory experience of pleasure than it does with the essential need of the body to consume.

I know that’s true for me. I remember well all those times of fasting….of grinding through the first three days and then bursting into something so incredibly potent and enlivening that I completely lost interest in food. It took effort to turn my attention back to eating. I had discovered that the less I ate the more enlivened I felt…and the more I came awake! Yet, we have so many rules about that; so much expert opinion about its truth and/or untruth. Do we ever really give ourselves a chance to test it?

Even in today’s literature on food/eating/health/nutrition, it is indicated that less is better. The less food we consume, the healthier we are. The moment food enters the body, all attention/energy is redirected to the process of digestion. Why? Because if left unattended, food begins to decay in the body and produces toxins. Digestion is essential to survival – food is not.

Food is a metaphor. At the Environment level of thinking – the level of the physical body – food is a ‘real’ thing that goes into a ‘real’ body. And yet, as we move to higher levels of thinking, ‘food’ becomes the invitation to discover its metaphors in our lives.

Food is something we think we can’t live without. And yet, at the level of ‘energy’ (both food and energy are nominalizations…code words for things that fuel the body in different ways) physical ‘food’ is likely the least effective way to source the body.

How many times do we read about people substituting food for love? Or using food as a way to feel better about themselves? Or using food to reward and punish? Or using food to distract ourselves from other things going on in our lives? Or using food going in to the body to override something else that is already happening in the body? Or using food as a reason for us to stop? Or food as the only permission we give ourselves to socialize? And the list goes on and on and on…..

The interesting part is that none of the above has anything to do with the nutritional value of physical food. Just like sleeping has very little to do with what happens between 10:00 pm and 6:30 a.m.!

Makes me wonder….what else can I not only live without but in doing so, can actually become more awakened and enlivened? How else might I live if I were to test and consider things from my experience as opposed to sublimely surrender to the historical perspective and ‘expert’ advice? I wonder…..

Food and sleep as metaphors. What else might they represent in my life? How else might my life unfold were so much of my life not devoted to both of those activities/experience? How else might I spend my time and my days? Would I fit in? Would I have to change how I interact with others? Just how different am I willing to be? What would I do with myself when everyone else is sleeping and eating???? J

Even while my body sleeps, the Self that I know myself to be flourishes! Time passes…my eyes open, my body moves and I am filled with new insights, new ideas, new intentions and pathways for it all, without having made any effort to figure anything out or understand a thing! Just how good can it get?

Hmmm….I continue to ponder all the metaphors that food/sleep are in my life. I continue to ponder the metaphors that each of these is in my life, and how each unfolds at every level of thinking. I wonder what will come of this…..

Breathing is good…..

I had a dream....

…and in that dream, I experienced an event that was stunning and deeply painful to me. In that same dream, someone I trust was telling me that I did not see what I saw, hear what I heard….and I did not know what I know. I awakened from that dream, startled by the sense of its reality; and feeling pressure in my head and in my chest.

Even as I pondered the dream itself, I wondered: had I really dreamed that? The vivid and raw nature of it lingered in my body and left me knowing, unequivocally, that I had indeed.

Through the day, the dream wafted through my awareness, like stale cigarette smoke escaping through the opening lobby doors, long after the smokers have left. And like stale cigarette smoke, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Throughout the day, it pulled at my consciousness, nudging me toward a discovery that did not come easily to me. Strange as it may seem and as obvious as it may be to you, it took all day for me to get it!

All this occurring on the heels of an amazing experience with 13 courageously curious women in “Igniting the Self” and ‘Resourcefulness in Action’ at Oceanstone, in Nova Scotia. During that 7-day adventure, I found myself wondering how far I could go in these conversations. To what degree could I trust the truth of what felt right to me, rather than the truth of what I thought would feel right for them?

Of course! That’s what the dream was about! No matter what the issue/event/moment offers up, all there is for me to do is trust the truth of my own experience – no matter how painful, no matter how difficult and no matter how determinedly others (including those I love and trust) may encourage me to do otherwise. It is in trusting the truth of my own experience that my future will emerge, offering me the journey of this lifetime to discover more of the godforce that I already am.

Trusting the truth of my experience will take me down one path. Trusting someone else’s truth will take me down a very different path. On the first, my own potential will emerge. On the other, an adventure of discovery in how NOT to be mySelf will emerge. Either one will allow me to grow and become more – and the first path will, I believe, be the direct route.

The next 18 to 24 months of my own Evolution by Intention will be guided by a mindfulness to engage life in ways that accelerate my own evolution. In doing so, I trust that the holodeck of my experience will offer up good moments and bad; easy discoveries and others that will bring deep and powerful waves that will redesign the very tissue of my being, and all of it will be about finding the ‘more’ that I am.

Emerging Futures don’t come in single file or one at a time. They show up in clusters, like a bouquet of beautiful peach-colored roses wrapped in cellophane and tied with a satin ribbon… a burst of possibilities, inviting us to select one and get to know it intimately – thorns and all. Are we willing to draw one from the pack, allow ourselves to breathe in its scent, risking being caught off guard by the pain such a small thorn can create? Or will we just put them in a vase and observe them from a distance, admiring their beauty but not getting close enough to be disappointed or hurt?

I am grateful for my dream. I am grateful to have people in my life that I love and who love me. And I am also grateful to know that as I evolve with intention, my emerging futures may not always feel good, or feel easy, or match the truth of others AND I can trust that they will be there waiting for me. All I have to do is choose from the truth of what is real for me – and let the chips fall where they may.

Breathing is good…..

The press of potential....

…has a life of its own.

Day 5 of RIA; Day 3 of ITS. As one day unfolds into the next, I am aware of how it has become so much more than it was.

There is an acceleration and an expansion that I don’t yet know how to put words to. How I know it’s there is from what I witness in the movement of the women in the room; in how far they go and how easily they get there; and in how quickly the fear disappeared. What has remained is curiosity, clarity of intention and determination.

I am discovering that the more I let go of what I think it should be, the more I discover what it can be. It surfaces all by itself. These days do not resemble any of the days that have gone before them. When I consider the next experience - the next invitation for women to step into the exploration of who they might become – I have no idea what will unfold. What I do know without doubt or hesitation is that it will go beyond where we are today. Like breathing in…and breathing out…with each breath bringing more life than the last.

In the past, my attention was on finding a way to repeat the experience so that others would benefit from a ‘proven’ process. Now, I know that what I am focused on is stepping into every experience as a unique event. Emerging Futures. That means being willing to show up with all that I know and, more importantly, all that I am, and allowing it to unfold from one conversation to the next. Already, in doing so, new material is forming itself.

Today, there was a moment when one of the women awakened to the godforce that she is. In that moment of recognition, I watched as her hand went to cover her mouth and stifle the gasp of recognition, her eyes brimming with tears. In that same instant, something moved through the room….like a pulse or a burst of energy that began with her body as the centre of a ring of energy that instantly spread through the room. In the movement of that pulse came heat, with the temperature of the room rising quickly and noticeably. She had arrived!

Expansion of consciousness does not require effort, it requires that we oepn our eyes and see ourselves. we awaken and it becomes impossible for us to NOT engage.

Decloaking is always the key to seeding potential.

Breathing is good…..

I declare....

Wherever 25 or more women gather, I will to go them – including experiences of Women Awakening and/or Decloaking.

Until now, I’ve invited women to step into scheduled programs. My experience of yesterday, with the Women’s Network of Ottawa, awakened me to the realization that the hunger for more and the willingness to engage is far more than I had noticed. From this moment on, I will seek opportunities to be part of these gatherings and invite consideration of a more powerful way of being.

One thing has not and will never change: I am only looking for the women who are looking for me. It is not about talking anyone into anything – it’s about becoming visible to those who are seeking... those who are already in a restless sleep, struggling to wake up.

It does not have to be hard. It does not have to take a long time. And we do not need to do it alone. As I stand and hold my ground on what’s meaningful to me, I look around and notice that I am surrounded by so many others who also stand clear and bold, for all to see.

New collectives are coming to life.

Breathing is good…..

The Roar of Women Waking Up!

It occurred to me yesterday that some time had passed since last writing in this blog. It’s not that I have not had thoughts, or that I have not ‘done’ things, it’s that I was not called to share them. To me, those moments felt ‘over’ and ‘gone’, and as much as I was fully engaged in them in the moment, they also felt ‘done’. Once complete, I felt gratified for having feasted well on that moment, and about as interested in revisiting it as I might be in pondering the digestion of yesterday’s lunch!

That got me thinking….what has my life been about and what is it about NOW? To be sure, much of my life in the past has been about sharing my experiences and accompanying insights with others in a way that would allow them to learn and grow and expand and become more. That meant capturing what ‘was’ and finding ways to present it so that it could be related to, absorbed and digested by others in ways that would also feed them from my experience. Today, it’s different.

It does not call to me to do that anymore. Yesterday, when Koreen and Noreen and I presented the Sekhmet Rising Book Project to a local women’s group, I discovered something much more powerful for myself.

Koreen and Noreen did most of the talking. I set up the conversation to come, and brought closure to it when the time came. I sat back and watched these two amazing women decloak and unveil themselves in ways that brought wave after wave through my body. Both of them – strong, vibrant, irreverent, compelling, playful, courageous, outrageous… each in her own way, and all of those things present nonetheless. As I listened to them, I watched the faces of the women in the audience; and as I listened to them, I remembered who they had been when I first met them. In the moment of our first meeting, I had seen them this way. They were the ones who could not yet see.

That led to another thought: could they have made this journey to their own magnificence differently? Could it have happened faster? Could they have found themselves sooner? Or was it essential/necessary/required that they follow the winding road through Igniting the Self, Resourcefulness in Action, Influencing with Intention and Catalyst for Change. In this moment, I am unsure. In this moment, following what I witnessed yesterday, I am drawn to ponder new conclusions.

But I digress…. When the three of us finished our brief (30 minutes) presentation (and think of that – 3 big talkers, done in 30 minutes!), the room exploded into conversation! Meaningful conversation. Not idle pleasantries, but things of meaning. Only a couple of women left, and the most of them were still there long after the official closing of the meeting. It was wonderful! The presence of life was palpable!

In the face of very woman in that room, I saw all those things: I saw courage and compassion; I saw vision and the power to manifest it. As I watched them listen to Koreen and Noreen, I saw the pull of their desire to speak out loud from the truth that lies deep within each of them. I saw their restlessness and in it, saw their genius.

It is clear to me that my future lies in stepping much more visibly, forcefully and powerfully into bigger and bigger conversations, with larger and larger collectives of women. It calls to me – somewhere deep in my belly… somewhere in my own restlessness – to move faster, and with much stronger and broader stokes of the brush to bring more of the strength of who we are into the picture of our world, as we might come to know it.

I feel an urgency. I feel an intensity. I have made an effort in the last 18 months to be reasonable about it and with it. I can no longer do that.

The call to women to lead is not rhetoric. Nor is it a sound that any of us can hear with our ears. It is a vibration that we feel with our bodies. Like my experience of the earthquake in Kona, it begins with a ‘knowing’ in my body in September of 2004…and then it becomes turbulence in places where none had existed before. It increases in intensity and becomes a vibration that moves across the flesh of this physical body. And then, the earth moves. Did it have to take a little over two years? Yes, for me it did – because I did not yet know how to hear. It’s different now.

In the coming months, there will be more conversations. Larger collectives of women. More women awakening and awakening other women. More women bursting into explosions of meaningful conversation. It does not have to take long. It does not have to be hard. And it does not have to wait for anything else to happen, other than itself.

Breathing is good…..

What color is your hair?

I think I started putting streaks in my hair when I was 20. I’m 56. That’s 36 years of not knowing what color my own hair is! So, for whatever reason, the impulse moved and I chose to pay attention to it – and I decided it was time for me to know what color my hair really is.

To accomplish this task, I had to learn to just let go. Do nothing. Invite and allow. Take my hands off the ‘project’ and just let it unfold as it will. That turned out to be a very interesting metaphor for my life.

Letting it all go….letting go of my and others' expectations (“What are you doing to your hair?!?!?!”) and the need to stay the same for the comfort of others (“I don’t recognize you anymore…what’s wrong?”) proved to have its moments of discomfort for myself and for others. Add to that so many years of my life being devoted to always ‘looking good’, I found myself wondering: is this a mistake? Should I stop this and go back to looking how I’ve always looked – to the way that it would seem I am expected to look – and resign myself to forever wondering what color my hair is?

I couldn’t do it. I could not stop this process that had begun. Every morning, I would get up and stare at myself in the mirror and wonder…who am I? Who is the ‘real’ me under the surface of who I have become over the years? Do I really know? Does who I really am match who I think I have become? And another day would go by…..

It’s been more than six months since I began this little adventure and I’m happy to say that I now know the color of my own hair….and I love it! It has lots of grey in it…a steely grey that somehow brings me comfort….and the dark blonde color that it nestles into seems to match my face. Go figure…who would have thought that the original design is still a good one!

I am discovering I really like the color of my hair. It’s unfamiliar. It’s not always the same, as the mix changes from one day to the next as more grey appears. I don’t plan it – it just shows up and takes up residency on my head! And I like it. I like its unpredictable nature. I like that it will not always behave. And I like that it’s mine.

What color is your hair? When was the last time you looked? How long has it been since you’ve taken a minute of your day, every day, to just look into your own eyes; to examine your own face…and to wonder: who are you? Does the outside of you match the inside of you? What aspects of you are you 'coloring' and covering up?

I am no longer caught in the habit of doing stuff to my hair. I’m no longer caught in the habit of needing/wanting to look/sound/be a certain way so that I will not experience the discomfort that goes with NOT being that certain way. Every day, I seem to look forward to and wonder who I will emerge to be today. I am coming to relax into knowing that I may not get approval or applause...and it's all ok. It’s not always easy, and it’s always worth it.

My ‘emerging future’ arrives one breath at a time…one sensation at a time…one signal at a time. All I have to do is nothing. Just let go, invite and allow – and it shows up. I’ll let you know if/when I don’t like what I see.

Breathing is good…..