Ramblings of an ugly duckling....

I was in the shower this morning, thinking about stuff. I recalled my experience of the week-end and of how we’re really not separate; and of how we are in each other’s lives not to judge or fix or rescue each other but to be the invitations for us to discover more about ourselves, to be the opportunity for us to see in another that which we have not yet noticed in ourselves. My life and its challenges, trials and triumphs is never about anyone but me. When I remember that, my life expands.

Listening to the morning news, I was reminded yet again of what I notice as this spiral of increasing density and intensity that is forming itself around me. The world…the climate….the conflict….and I became aware of a flood of thoughts and sensations that feel like a barrage of content-less information but information nonetheless. Flashes and fragments of thoughts, notions, ideas, sounds, sensations - impossible to sort them neatly into rows of what makes sense and what doesn't; into some logical, linear structured form of expression that will allow for a formula/answer to present itself. Like 'show and tell', a final product that I can hold out to others and say, "See? This is how it works!" and they will all nod and be delighted to discover their own potential.

Instead, what I am left with is the sense of chaos that comes from having far more data to process than the device is designed for or, at least, that I (in this moment) know how to surrender into; a sense of a huge wave of information trying to press its way into a channel that is far too small to manage it, like the ocean trying to make its way through a garden hose without ripping it to shreds; and an intense desire to stay with it and see if this time, some new thought may take center stage or if this time, some new sense of 'me' may emerge for me to discover. Although it feels like eons ago, I do remember the time when I did not yet know that I am a quantum biological processor. I marvel at all that I have experienced in my life since then, and I wonder: what is the 'more' that seems to be standing in the shadows, just waiting for me to be ready, willing and able to see? What else awaits my own evolution?

We seem to think that what we have in common is our humanity and our attention on knowledge and content - and my deep sense of frustration that what appears to be so evident, so simple and so real for me seems to be so impossible for so many to even consider. And I wonder....what is there for me to discover about myself within this observation? Who do I need to become that I am not yet, such that so much more would be possible? What of my own limitations am I being invited to notice?

What comes to mind for me is this hesitation I am often aware of...this sense of a voice in the wilderness, sometimes wondering: am I crazy? Am I the only one who can see this? Am I the only one for whom this is so easy, so evident and so essential to who I am? Clearly, on the holodeck of my experience, I often feel like a manifestation of the Yellow Pages commercial - the bright orange one in a sea of grey. Is it about being out of step or is it about overlapping realities...two worlds sharing the same space? But I digress, as I get caught up in the swirl of my own forgetfulness.....

What would life be like if we were to discover something else as our common denominator…as the common thread that weaves its way through us all…that we might redesign our lives?

And in that moment, I become aware of how my world view of not who but WHAT we are is so different from what I hear around me. Not so much in how the content is expressed but much more in the meaning that this content takes on in how we live, from one day to the next. I also become aware of how I sometimes tire of talking about it; writing about it; speaking about it; etc. recognizing just how terrifying it seems to be for people to even consider this as a possibility in their lives – even when their lives are miserable!

It is one thing to speak to the science of what we now know a human being to be (that is, a quantum biological processor). It is so much more to have to stop and consider: now that I know that, what does it really mean in terms of how I LIVE? It’s not enough to know it and keep living from being what I was before I knew that. It’s imperative that I stop…and consider…now that I know, what does it mean when I take my next breath? That’s not so easy. It means I have to let go of just doing/being what I know how to do/be, and become willing to test myself, my world and my ability to create it.

In this moment, the words of (I believe) Wayne Dyer drift into my awareness: we are not human beings having a spiritual experience but spiritual beings having a human experience. What does that mean to how we live from one day to the next? If we don’t stop and consider it – personally, each of us from the inside, where we live – it becomes just so much more blah-blah-blah that we write about and philosophize about and nothing changes. The point becomes: when I choose to live – this moment, and the next moment, and the next, etc. – as the spiritual being that I am, what do I do? What thoughts do I think? What words do I choose? What choice do I make? What life do I manifest?

The one thing that all human beings have in common is a body. Without it, we can’t exist or function in this world. Interestingly enough, as varied as this body may be in its external appearance, its form and function are identical. It is not the device that varies from one to the other – it is the information that the device processes (calibrates, gathers, stores and retrieves) that makes us unique.

The reason that I am not you is not because your nervous system is different from mine – it is because what your nervous systems processes is different from mine!

And here’s where it gets mucky for people: I am (you are) not my (your) body. The body is a quantum biological processor that is the vehicle through which the unique expression that I AM manifests in a physical world. What does that mean on a daily basis?

What it means is that I am not my body, I am the signal/vibration/essence of ‘being’ that the body makes manifest in a physical world. Although my body is mortal, the signal that I AM is immortal. If I am immortal, am I not the godforce?

Imagine if we all – every one of the soon-to-be 9 billion of us – got that! Imagine if we all ‘got’ that we are not the body, we are the signal. And imagine if we all ‘got’ that the signal that each of us is, is the godforce in expression in a physical world. How does the godforce live? My bet is, pretty differently from how we’re living now.

You can be sure that living as the godforce, there is no need to control. Nor is there scarcity, since I can manifest whatever I choose – so the need for greed and all of its sub-sets, disappears. There is no need for one godforce to hate another, since we are all from the same source, meaning I would be hating myself. And maybe that’s what it’s about: I can’t hate you unless and until I’m first committed to hating myself. My experience of working with others demonstrates this to be accurate.

I don’t have a conclusion. I’m also aware that it is not information we lack, since we have plenty of that available. Nor is it our ability to understand what we know that is compromised in some way. How many times do we need to read about quantum this and energetic that before we ‘get’ it? So, if it’s not information we lack, then what is it?

There is a disconnect between our ability to know and understand, and our ability to engage. There is a gap between philosophically choosing and engaging. To engage anything is a process of the body, and when I involve my body, I become visible for all to see. I can keep my thoughts ‘private’ but when I choose to engage, I am telling the world who I am choosing to be.

It is not a process of the intellect – so it is not dependent on knowledge or understanding. It is a process of the body – and your body and mine are deeply, profoundly, relentlessly, rigorously and collective taught….no, pummeled into knowing! … that the one thing for sure that we are NOT is the godforce. Otherwise, why would we ever just mindlessly, blindly do/think/be what someone else tells us to do/think/be? We would think, speak and choose for ourselves; and we would be the truth of who we are, no matter the environment or circumstances, knowing that we are just fine.

As much as some may think that would cause our world to fall apart, I believe it would actually cause our world to come to life.

Breathing is good……