Manifestation

Breathe
Follow the impulse
Let yourself know the truth of your own experience

The impulse is equivalent to the point of the particle formation potential in the void. The impulse is the body's way of letting us know that we are in a moment of the possibility of creation. We choose to act... or not.

Those situations where there is an impulse, occur when there is an opportunity to grow and expand our 'being'. If it is important, it will repeat and intensify, particularly if fear has caused us to pull away from it, meaning we know it's important but are afraid. There is an initial recognition and a moving away.

It's the moving away from the impulse that makes life complicated. The body never lies.

Breathing is good.....

Remembering who I am

I’m cleaning stuff out, today. Getting rid of things that take up space in my life and yet, given who I’ve become, have no place in my life.

I found journals, from as far back as 19990 – when I began my first business. And there I was, reading journals instead of doing what I’d set out to do, yet realizing that there are no accidents in the universe.

I read words written in my own handwriting and I wonder who that woman was! As I read, I can see/hear/feel the thread that ties her to who I have become today and yet, feel somehow distant and removed in some way. There are entries about every aspect of my life, including my thoughts as I moved through my pregnancy with my first child as a single mother. In those, each word is cherished and felt as if I am living it now. Oh, that I could live it all again....such magic!

I did find something that I can still relate to, all this time past. A journal entry dated October 23, 1995. I do remember that around that time, I was about to create six-week group experiences with women that would become the Women and Power material. All there is on the page is that date and the information below in point form:

“
- to be present, calm and centered
- to breathe
- to trust that they will be/do who and what is required for them to express
- to listen; to hear the deep structure
- to be respectful
- to honor my process as well as the process of each of the other 7 women in the room
- to take my time
- to be honest
- to trust in a force higher than myself
- to trust in a Higher Self – a greater self – one that knows the larger plan. “

That was 12 years ago and it is still how I choose to live. In life, there are things that do not need to be remembered when they have become who we are.

Breathing is good…..

My Emerging Future

My last few days have been spent finalizing the 3rd Edition of Fully Alive, getting the manuscript ready for production. I’m also continuing to work on my Huna book; and have finally completed the list of material to record in the next few weeks. The list is long, having decided to exhaust all that I have to say (is that ever possible???) about all of the WEL-Systems models, including The CODE Model, CODE Model Coaching, Evolution by Intention and Emerging Futures.

My own future is emerging rapidly and I’m engaging to keep pace – and make room for the next wave. I have no idea what it will look/feel like, and I know that it will be an important time for my own evolution.

My need to complete what feels like unfinished business is strong. Like putting all the ITS material on CD, from beginning to end. Having my books on CD. Recording all that I can think of to say on The CODE Model and its unique chakra correlations, CODE Model Coaching and Quantum TLC. Recording all the meditations that form part of the ITS process. It is as if doing so will in some way complete something for me and I can…..what??!?!?!?

It feels like pressure… pressure in the area of my ears…with much activity in the eyes. It is as if I am getting ready to see through things and to see what’s not yet here….to hear where there is no sound….and to have nothing to say. For so many years, it seems that I’ve had so much to say.

I’m also becoming aware of my pull to move toward retreat experiences; destinations that invite the body to let go and relax, making way for so much more to be in flow. I believe we are greatly in need of this capacity for flow.

And so, some part of me sits back and watches the rest of me go! I seem to be able to do so many things at once. It also feels like I’m moving toward some kind of deadline or finish line…on what? Not quite sure, but it sure makes my life interesting.

Emerging Futures is my future. The implications for the coming decade are immense – and I already know that. Emerging Futures is (I believe) essential to carving out new ways of moving through the world that are far beyond what we know. It is not what we know that will make the difference. It’s what we don’t know and are willing nonetheless to trust. It’s what we are willing to allow ourselves to become. Not WHO but WHAT. We are not what we think we are. We are so much more.

Emerging Futures was birthed from Huna as a gateway. Without the Three Selves of Huna, it is not complete. Time and space are elements of the NOW and are not relevant for an emerging future. Compression of time permits manifestation to occur instantly. An apple in my hand appears when I intend for it to do so. Of what value are the things we’ve been taught to hold dear when each of us can do that? Makes life as we know it meaningless in so many ways.

My Spirit is restless, hearing the call to a new way of being. It is like January 2006 all over again…but much more intense. I wonder how many others are restless, too?

Breathing is good…..

Back in the saddle....

Another week of Igniting the Self has completed itself and, as always, I am not now who I was when I began, this time last week. It is amazing to me how easy it can be and how far/fast we can move without effort. It’s never about effort – it’s always about Intention, Attention and the willingness to engage.

Like everything else in my life since January 2006, this (ITS) too is rapidly redesigning itself. The acceleration touches us all and all that we engage. None of us is spared the inevitable and profound transformation that follows in its wake.

This last time, my own transformation came in the form of an awareness attached to this notion of helping/rescuing/saving/guiding/etc. As I went from one day to the next, larger and larger conversations coming to life about WHAT we are (Quantum Biological Organic Processors), it occurred to me that there is nothing to help/save/rescue/etc. The very act of trying to do so locks each of us into being NOT the amazing presence that we are.

The awakening of the quantum biological organic presence that I am is tied to discovering my own presence….my own power….my own unique expression of the godforce that I already am in the world. What I discovered for myself is that the more I try to encourage/support/assist/guide/etc, the more difficult it becomes for the ‘other’ to discover themselves.

The more I am willing to just be present to another in their sometimes incredibly painful struggle to find themselves, the more quickly they can do so. Like life emerging from a shell, strength and capacity to thrive is compromised if the shell is broken for them. Perhaps this is much more akin to being a midwife. In these processes, I do indeed, get to be present to and bear witness to a natural birth of some kind. The less I put my hands into the mix, the more potent the result.

Sometimes, things get messy. Sobs....sounds...snotty noses are all part of the process. Rage, also, can be part of this process. And without a doubt, I discovered last week that being this way (my unwillingness to insert myself into their ‘birthing’ process to help and facilitate, etc) does not always make me popular! Nor does it leave others feeling warm and fuzzy about me. Nonetheless, each leaves the process more fully awake, aware and present to themselves and their own potential. Is that not what it’s all about?

I discovered last week that safety does not reside in my taking care of anyone. Safety resides in each discovering that they can take care of themselves. Sometimes, given the world we live in, the only way that can happen is to find yourself in the deep end of the pool and discover that you can breathe under water.

New information. The marvels of the science of today are impressive when we consider the impact on our technology and all that it implies. However, nothing (to me) is more potent that what today’s science allows us to begin to notice about ourselves. We are not what we have been taught to believe we are. When we begin to ponder what this science means in terms of how we define ourselves, more becomes available than we had ever imagined possible. And until each of us can engage that discovery, we are stuck with grieving the past and longing for future, oblivious to the power point that is the NOW – because we don’t know what to do with it!

The sacred is what we are. Without an ability to touch it…to breathe it…to feel it in every cell…we wander in a place of being lost to ourselves. No one can give me back the sacred being that I AM. I must find that – alone and often in the dark. And yet, when I am willing to allow, the sense of this sacred comes to me and carries me into the light.

It is not about seeking but about stopping long enough to be found.

It is not about working at it but letting go.

It is not about bracing against but softening, inviting and allowing.

Last week was, yet again, a journey of my own discovery in the company of others. I am grateful to each of them for having welcomed me into their lives. Without that, I might still be searching. With it, I am more awake than ever!

Breathing is good…..

Gaia and Spring Cleaning

Long day – and I’m wide awake. The wee hours of the morning once again wrap me in a most welcomed stillness. The house is quiet, some sleeping soundly, others not yet home from their evening of time spent with friends.

I sink effortlessly into my own thoughts, staccato sound of my fingers across the keys drifting into the background, each letter an invitation to go deeper into those thoughts and allow them to lead. I wonder where this particular journey will take me tonight.

My best thoughts happen when I make no effort to think them. It is much more that they find me and think me.

I relax...take a breath...and in a flash, thought comes alive and awakens me to its presence. It leads - I follow. In the truly great moments, I am blind to its destination and am really just along for the ride.

Sometimes in whispers, thought looses itself gently and easily, like leaves off a tree in the curling whisp of a crisp fall breeze. Other times, there are vibrations in my body that agitate and cause me to move, foot swinging with impatience as I try to keep up and find the torrent that sources each stream and tributary. Too many...too fast...exhausted by the side-trips, I am unable to keep up and thought has escaped me, regardless of how quickly I move.

I’m aware that I’ve not written for a few days. My thoughts have been abundant yet my desire to express them has not. Like an anorexic, the food is there and I seem unwilling to eat. Perhaps I’ll nibble at the edges and see what appetite emerges.

Each thought has a life of its own. It has a beginning and an end. It is a thread that draws to itself other threads of different colors and textures and lengths and strengths, all combining to create new endings for old stories. It has its own rightful place in my model of the world and yet sometimes, does not seem to slide easily into someone else’s model of the world. I wonder: are these different models or, quite possibly, different worlds?

The thought of spring cleaning comes to mind. Getting the windows washed, inside and out, to remove the veil of winter that distorts my view of the world.

Donning old clothes and rubber gloves to really dig in and get at what has built up in corners and along edges and ledges since the first blasts of winter’s cold made sure that what could be sealed, would be. Anticipation of the cycle that once again brings warmer temperatures, bright sun and the desire to be outside. I think I’ll start with the BBQ…..

Maybe this is the year that I’ll finally let go of the ‘stuff’ that seems to take root in the basement… the stuff that follows me from the old house to the new… from one size to the next… and through it all carries the often unfulfilled promise of ‘I’d better hang on to this. I’m sure that it will come in handy some day.” The days have long come and gone, and ‘handy’ still has not happened! Maybe it’s time to let it go. And if it won’t go away on its own, to help it on its way to a garage sale, the Salvation Army or the dump. Whatever its destiny, it no longer includes sitting lifelessly in my basement.

I wonder if that’s not just what Gaia’s up to, as well. The environment that houses our humanity has become overrun with things that no longer support life. Like an astute homeowner who recognizes the task at hand, Gaia knows that it is time to let things go… to move them along if/when they will not move themselves… and to do what must be done to make the environment hospitable, once again.

In the great scheme of things, when Gaia spring cleans, we may well find ourselves by the curb. It’s a big job (spring cleaning the planet) but someone’s got to do it.

I do my best to find suitable homes for what once were treasures and, for whatever reason, over time have become albatrosses. They may well be treasures for someone else….but who??? And just how much of my life am I willing to devote to finding him/her/them? Sometimes, it just has to go – even if it's a shame and it still has life/value in it! - because I can no longer breathe. I am unwilling to suffocate on the dust of my own past. Maybe Gaia feels the same about her house.

These three years will be pivotal. I sometimes wonder when I look at my world in 2010 through eyes no longer veiled by the habits of my history… with perception no longer distorted by my own disbelief… what my view will be. In a holographic universe, the future will unfold as I determine it to be. In this moment, the one thing I know for sure is that spring cleaning awaits! That’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just time.

Random thoughts on the game of living

It’s tough to get moving after not having moved for a while. It’s equally tough to start living after not having lived for a while.

Watching other people live is not living. Wanting, wishing, hoping for….these are the indications of a view from the bleachers and not from the playing field. Telling ourselves how other people should live (i.e. what plays they should engage) does not in any way indicate that we know how to live our own lives.

When we’ve been sitting in the bleachers for most of our lives, we fool ourselves into believing that this IS our life – watching, wishing, hoping – and feeling pumped or pounded depending on what we’ve observed. I can’t even bring myself to use the word ‘witness’ since it carries too great a sense of enlivenment relative to ‘observe’.

Wherever did we learn that the best thing to do…the right thing to do…was to do nothing? How did we come to be so passive in our own lives….so tied to the flow of the wave that we have lost ourselves as the unique droplet of water that we are? Are we not still water without the wave?

It takes a lot to get moving after having been still for so long. It takes a lot to be ‘water’ when we have held ourselves for so long to be only part of the ‘wave’. It takes a lot to engage… to step up to the plate of the game of our own lives... when we’ve spent so much of that life sitting in the bleachers, watching life go by. And yet, if we don’t find inside ourselves what it takes for us to ENGAGE, we will wonder where our life went – and the time that longing relies on will have run out.

There’s a big difference between being on the field and being in the bleachers. We can get hurt. We’ll likely get dirty and gritty. We may even get sweaty and smell bad! But in the end, is that not what the game demands of its best?

One last thought: it’s tough to keep playing when we don’t win. Yet, it is in those moments that we determine the degree to which we love the game, for its own sake. Do we define the game or are we defined by it?

Breathing is good…..

A Wave of Sadness

My sons are now 18 and 20. Over the years, I’ve met many of their friends, some of whom have been in our lives for almost 10 years. Yesterday, one of them dropped by and the three of them headed out to a movie.

Although my chat with him was brief, I was really glad to see this young man again. He had not been to the house for some time and although I often heard what he was up to, I’d not seen him for almost a year. It was great to see his smiling face, evidence of his good nature and easy-going disposition.

We had a quick chat as I was coming home with groceries and they were headed out, quickly engaging as we passed each other like ships on the high seas. In those few moments, we talked long enough for me to learn that his intention was to head to the US as soon as he was cleared to go and join the military there. In that moment, my heart sank in my chest. I could feel the tears welling up.

I’ve always liked this young man. Quirky as some might consider him to be, I’ve always thought of him as having a good soul and a big heart. Over the years, I’ve come to know him as a person who really just wants his life to matter; to know that he is living a life of caring and compassion; and that he has been born to a life that has some meaning to it. Having sought out work in security, his intention is to ‘serve and protect’; to have his life be meaningful in some way in contributing to others. I cannot get the thought out of my head that this will be the last time I see him alive.

Is it the time we live in? Is it about our video games, movies and the glorification of violence? Is it about the call to defend and protect what we have created and hold dear? Is it the ‘nobility’ that we’ve attached to laying one’s life down for another? I don’t have a clue. I only know that this feeling of grief and sadness makes no distinction between the sons that I’ve birthed and the ones that I’ve just come to cherish.

Today, I am saddened by it all.

Breathing is good…..

Honey, I'm home! ( or Re-entry from Ste. Anne's...)

Ah yes…Tim’s in hand, somehow comforted by having worshipped at the temple even if, yet again, I am left only with the coffee and without the invitation to lay claim to the Camry hybrid. “Maybe next time”, I think to myself… and breathe a deep sigh of the comfort of the familiar as I settle into position at my beloved keyboard. I have been away from my laptop for three days!

For me, that must be some kind of record. It takes a lot for me to stay away from my laptop and, even more, to be without the desire to write. And yet, there it is - three days without writing.

Three glorious days away, with my most pressing decisions shaped by my need to choose from a series of spa treatments competing for my attention; and whether or not to have High Tea so soon after lunch and so close to dinner. Surrounded by comfort and luxury; a tranquil context within which to reconsider myself, my life and what sparks my desire to engage my life fully!

Ste. Anne’s became a metaphor for a quiet mind….for carving out a space within which movement became mindful, meaningful and served up in slender slices of experience that allowed me to see/hear/engage mySelf in every morsel of my ‘now’ as the invitation that I am to my own unique ‘emerging future’. A gentle reminder that grace and elegance, like safety, are an inside job that then reflects itself in my outside ‘reality’; and that I need only pause long enough to consider its presence in my every breath – and so it becomes.

I discovered nooks and crannies of my own curiosity about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it – and to what degree I am still all of who I have been and yet am no longer, in my physical world. I am already so much more!

There were moments…whispers of time that carried memories, past and future…when I experienced mySelf - the Emerging Self – as being no longer that, and yet my body was somehow still completing a cycle of habituation of the familiar. At another time and in another place, I may well have become impatient with myself, forging ahead to seek the more attuned Self rather than waiting to be found by it. All in its own time – and that time, for me, is not yet. In this most welcoming of spaces, I let go and allowed it all to just unfold.

I wandered the buildings of Ste. Anne’s – hands bumping over the fortress walls of stones of many sizes, shapes and types. I’m told that there is quartz in the walls, part of the healing experience that Ste. Anne’s offers. Touching these walls brought a sense of feeling safe and solid in my own world. Protected. Surrounded in a way that I felt complete freedom within the walls and yet, sheltered from any outside interference.

The weather ensured that I stayed inside, having wisely chosen accommodation that eliminated my need to ever be outside of the temple of temptations…wondrous combinations of wraps, pummelings, concoctions of lotions and oils…all intended to bring me more completely into my own senses…encouraging time to fall away and be replaced with a deeper sense of mySelf in the moment.

Robes the order of the day, no matter what time or location or event unfolding! That was an interesting experience for me – stepping into a robe, fresh out of the shower, and drifting easily through my day of spa treatments, naps, snack and meals, all without the fanfare of ‘What shall I wear????” No need to ponder such things, leaving much space and time to ponder so many other things of much greater import in my life.

As I tested every room – the sunshine flooded garden room where we all wait effortlessly to be claimed, one after the other, by one of the many willing and able Sorcerers of the Senses for our next treatment; the quiet salon tucked at the back of the original manor where silence and stillness come naturally in this space filled with cozy couches, comfy chairs, plush carpet and crackling fire; the grotto of whirlpool, plunge and exercise pool, all in the bitter cold and rain, yet amazingly exhilarating with body wrapped in heat while what became crisp, awakening air surrounded my head, neck and shoulders; eucalyptus steam room on my way outside, leaving me longing for the cold and yet on my way back in, wrapping me in the comfort of its heat as the winter air left ice crystals in my hair; - all of it just as it should be for me to be more awake to mySelf. Glorious!

Not a moment went by that I did not have an image come to mind of being in these spaces and places… sheltered within these walls of stone… with other women – women seeking to be well, women seeking to create space for their own thoughts to expand and become more, women seeking to escape – but for a few days – into a sacred time with themselves, women seeking to stop/ponder and redesign a life more meaningful. Everything about this space breathed life into being the woman that I am; encouraged me to unfold more of mySelf into this cocoon of stillness and safety, and was most welcoming of my every request for what I needed. All I had to do was ask.

I’m ready, now. I’m ready for the MORE that my life can always be counted on to offer! I’m ready for new thoughts, new notions, new ways of engaging with others. My mind is clear, my body is rested and my imagination is filled with the potential that I am in the world and my commitment to engaging with other women to discover and expand that potential in themselves.

No doubt, my future will include experiences with small groups of women, at Ste. Anne’s. Experiences of rest and relaxation, recognizing my own need to just stop…and be. Experiences of healing and growth and evolution. Experiences of body, mind and spirit – each a denser, thicker expression of the other.

I know there is more of mySelf to be found through Ste. Anne’s. And I know that it will be found in the magnificent company of other women seeking the Sacred that pulses within.

Breathing is good…..

Authenticism and Emerging Intention

This notion of 'authenticism' (a nominalization) won't let me go!

If someone practices sexism, can they also practice authenticism? If I am a racist, can I also be an authenticist?

Is authenticity a function of the past (history, experience, cultural conditioning, etc.)? Does the fact that I habituate mean that that which is habituated is authentic to me? Or is it just that - habit...and a mindless repetition of what I have long forgotten to think about, let alone consider with any presence of mind, body or intention?

As a nominalization, for me, authenticism lives low in the body. In my first awareness of that, I find it surprising, since I might have thought that it would live much higher. And yet, as I ponder it, I am mindful that when my Environment experience has become the result of my moment-to-moment Choice from Intention (Spirituality and Identity), then I know that I am living large, living well and living fully, deeply grounded in a sense of my own unique presence in the world. The Signal that I am…..

I visited the dictionary today.

I looked up ‘ism’ – and here’s what I found in the American Heritage Stedman’s Medical Dictionary (believe it or not – the simplest expression!):
ismsuff.
1. Action, process; practice: vegetarianism.
2. Characteristic behavior or quality: puerilism.
3. State; condition; quality: senilism.
4. State or condition resulting from an excess of something specified: strychninism.
5. Doctrine; theory; system of principles: Darwinism.
What attracted me to this one is that none of what is written feels like a judgment of anything – it just ‘is’.

What also attracted me to this one – having learned how to live my life with a mindfulness of Logical Levels of Thinking – is that each of these descriptors could equate to a logical level. For example,

1. State or Condition (result) – Environment
2. Characteristic behavior – Behaviour
3. Action, Process; Practice – Capability
4. Doctrine; theory; system of Principles – Beliefs/Values/Attitudes

‘Authenticism’ has all of these attached to it: B/V/A’s that drive us in a direction; Strategies that allow us to engage the Behaviours that produce the result (Environment) of being authentic. Moment to moment to moment….one breath to the next.

However, what is unfamiliar about this ‘ism’ is that the nature of authenticity has no relevance to the past and is driven by the future…by the unknown, potential of who we might become. In the process of Choice, authenticism requires that we engage mindfully rather than simply repeat habituation. Authenticism has no relation to the past, since that produces repetition and habituation rather than a real-time, real-life Choice in this moment. Each moment has none other quite like it.

Authenticism, from a perspective of Logical Levels of Thinking, lives from the level of Choice, driven from the levels above it. The power of authenticism lies in that its drive comes from Spirituality (Connection to Self) and Identity (Perpetually Unfolding Identity) down to Choice, resulting in our choices constantly changing; rather than from B/V/A’s up to Choice, resulting in repeating the familiar.

Authenticism feels right for me. It is an ‘ism’ that I can trust, in this moment, to unfold something meaningful in my life…something new, as yet unexperienced…holding the potential to completely redefine who I might become.

Perhaps a global tsunami of thought to mindfully choose authenticism as a way of being can transform who we are as a species. I can live with that.

In this moment, I am mindful that I am getting stranger by the day. :) Perhaps I am missing Hawaii?

Breathing is good…..